Years ago I was going through a divorce, my boys were very young, I was working full time at night and earning my BSN. I realized after a few months that I couldn't do it all by myself. Even though I tried. Everyday. Until I just threw my hands up in the air and said, HELP! And a very wise person taught me how to ask for and receive help, in a way that was mutually beneficial for both parties.
We hear it everyday, especially after having a baby, "If you need anything, just let me know." And we're like, "Thanks! I will." But then we don't. We send our husbands to Target at 11 pm to get something we read about online that will make our life with a newborn easier. Or we spend 6 hours trying to get out the door to run to the store to get groceries and then attempt making dinner because we aren't going to be 'that mom.' We've got this. 100%. Everything is FINE!
Allowing someone to help you will fulfill them as much as it will meet your needs. Wait, what? Yes! Think about when you help someone. You took them a meal train, or picked up a prescription or grabbed groceries for the tired new mommy who is up all night. Or that friend who had surgeries on both knees within 6 weeks of each other. Didn't you feel good about yourself? You felt needed. And loving. And giving. And helpful. And they felt loved. And cared for. And grateful. WIN-WIN!!!
So stop not asking for help. Ask for help! When you need a coffee, text someone.When you run out of paper towels, text someone. When you need adult conversation, or a hands free pump bra, or laundry detergent, reach out! Someone is running to the store that day. And would LOVE to hold your baby for a few minutes and talk with you.
And when you are faced with a struggle about breastfeeding: i.e. nipple aversion, bottle aversion, weaning, going back to work, engorgement, clogged duct, increasing your supply, decreasing your supply, supplementation, advice from loved ones, sleep schedules, etc. etc, etc, reach out to a lactation consultant! It is what we do. Daily. Almost hourly. We eat, breathe and sleep all things baby. And are more than excited to help you. You just have to make the first call. Or text. Or email. Or bat signal. You get the idea. Just let me know if you need anything. And maybe, just maybe (probably!), I will provide you with baby tools that you didn't know you didn't know. And you will have that aha moment! with parenting and realize that you are nailing it. Because you ARE nailing it!
You got this, Mama!!!!